Aug 24 2010
I know (well I think I know) what women want…
my boyfriend is 42 today, yes thats 3 months younger than me but I dont quite think he qualifies as a toyboy with those credentials. Being 42, however, we both have history -it stands to reason doesn’t it? I’ve been single for 3 years and have not exactly been a nun and he’s had a colourful past too. Does this bother me? Of course not but while talking about colourful histories it did occur to me that I have finally discovered what I think women want in a relationship! Well I know what I want anyway!
I want to be the most……..Yes – you heard me right! I dont actually care whether my lovely boyfriend has had 10 or 10, 000 girlfriends in the past, I really dont mind, but I need to know that I am the most……. lovely, sassy, kind, thoughtful, fabulous, I really dont mind even if its something bad, like ‘most useless cook’, ‘most bad at ironing’ (actually I dont do ironing so this is maybe a non starter), or ‘untidiest’ it really doesn’t matter what it is but I crave to be the ‘most’ at something as I feel this sets me apart from everyone else that he has dated and surely this is a good thing?
This kind of thinking has crept into our schools I know, we now dont have outright winners at sports days because that offends all the others that didn’t win, but we now have prizes for absolutely everything, the best tryer. the most improved, the best studier, the most enthusiastic- everyone wins a prize that make them the best at something.
Well it appears now that I too am a product of this ‘most’ philosophy and crave to be the best at something to set myself apart.
Maybe, thats what we all want in life – none of us wants to be the same as everybody else because when we are we are just one of many, our whole culture these days is about us all being unique and individual so anything that groups us with everyone else is a sign that we are not living to our true potential.
Do I need to be different to shine? Not really – If I’m honest I want to be the best girlfriend he’s ever had but on a personal level I just want to be the best person I can ever be. Each of us is unique and individual and we bring different elements of ourselves to a relationship, its actually a shame that we have this hankering to be recognized and set apart from everyone else in this way, isnt it enough that the thing we are different at and completely unique at is actually being ourselves in all our fabulous, glittering glory?
Ok – so maybe I dont have to be the sexiest, most gorgeous, most perfect girlfriend he’s ever had – maybe just being the most perfect ‘me’ is actually enough? Wow-what a lot of pressure that takes off me, because actually being ‘me’ is one thing I am spectacularly good at……..